Tuesday, 29 November 2011


Okay, I might contradict myself at some point, but it is only because I have a bunmch of mixed feelings I want to get off my chest.

First, I saw C.M. with his GF today, they were walking that's all, or at least I am glad I didn't see more than that. Even the person talking to me noticed the tightness in my voice, but she didn't exactly know why my voice was tight, because she is clueless about the way I feel about him! His GF with dirty blonde hair and not that much of a face, well, I am not saying I am prettier than her.. I just think it is UNFAIR! 
I just hate him, he is making it harder for me, he doesn't know anything about the feelings I have for him, I just wish I was DEAD!

The second thing is, he sat with me on the bus, fudge, that is just what I needed.. I didn't say a word though, he didn't either, so we're both happy I guess..

I hate how the odds of us being together are much less than the odds of the sky falling. It is only a matter of time, until I just realized how this is going nowhere.

I need to get over him, ASAP, the sooner the better, sooner than later. Because I am tired of being in an emotional crisis, I am tried of living a chaotic life where I regret every word I said to him and think it was stupid.. I am tired, of everything that makes me think of him, of every night I close my eyes thinking about him, of every moment I see him with another girl and my heart aches like crazy.. 

Monday, 28 November 2011

Sunday, 27 November 2011

Honours Night Glory

I won a certificate and a pin!!!
Lol, I am such a disappoint for my dad, he wanted me to get one of the higher academic award.. ah well, at least I won something, right?
I'll post a picute of it sometime, after I fix my ccamera maybe..
until then, see yah

Friday, 25 November 2011

Something Disconnected

You disconnected something, deep in my heart. Now, it's gone.. That's why I don't feel heart broken...because I knew from the beginning we were never meant to be.

Thursday, 24 November 2011

I was bored


Why Do People Fall in Love? Part2

Okay, here's Part 1
Now, I already mentioned that I grew up considering love a reckless thing.... etc etc, read the first post for everything..
I was left off at the part where I mentioned that I was jealous, now I totally take that back. I have a heartache, I got the chance to experience that kind of feeling and trying-with difficulty- to get rid of them.
I truly don't understand love feelings, how they can wreck you and make you feel like shit sometimes, or give you an illusion of pleasure and happiness at other time. Love can leave the one entangled in world of aspiring dreams away from the boarders of reality, because reality can make that impossible. 
The Chemistry of Falling in Love is simple, you need 2 people who have in common feelings about the other, and friendship can be a great catalyst at sometimes, and let the reaction happen according to they way these people feel and their compatibility and stuff, and

Wednesday, 23 November 2011

sometimes, i wonder if i matter to someone..

Roast Beef and Pea Soup

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Everybody can roast beef, but I haven't met that many people who can (pee) soup :D

Tuesday, 22 November 2011


And will we ever end up together?
No, I think not, it's never to become
For I am not the one

                Sally Song (The Nightmare Before Christmas)

Monday, 21 November 2011

I am not even going to comment!

cough cough cough

Sorry for categorizing this in ''Music'', but I guess it is the only category that can suit it the best ...

They told me if I believe in something well enough, it will happen. 
But with you, I need more than belief I need a miracle..

Sunday, 20 November 2011

on my mind ..

on my mind 
before I close my eyes and fall asleep,

on my mind
before I open them and start my day,

on my mind
because I can relate you to everything in my life,

on my mind 
because thinking of you curve my lips in a smile,

on my mind
because it also burns my heart internally,

on my mind
because I still care..

I finally decided..

I am not sure yet kind of sure about what I want to be. I am finally content with something, and it does sound reasonable to me. I am thinking of the Medical School path. Not sure what kind exactly, but I know think I like the field itself. Although, I am squeamish, and I might FAINT (or it could be worse) at the sight of blood. So this is what is holding me back from the idea. 


She's PHAT!

hmmmmmm, I don't remember ever being called fat or overweighted. I was always the skinny little twig, although I didn't have to work a lot toward being in that shape, no matter how much I ate, I wouldn't gain more than 5 pounds, the heaviest I ever been was 126 pounds, which is relatively below average for people my height and my weight..
This is not about me this time, it's about my younger sister, she's only 13, but she is shorter and exceeded me by about 30 pounds.. and my dear mother keeps comparing her to me.. I understand that she wants her to exercise more and you know... get her butt moving, but it all seems to depress her, and this is conflicted in my face.. when someone complements something that looks at me, they say: '"it looks nicer on you than it is on your sister'" And I see it in her eyes, what would you call it? Envy? Jealousy? Fine, it was never my decision to be like this, and I consider myself lucky.. but on the other hand, I don't think it was her choice to be the way she is now. So, why isn't that enough? People should not compare us, it doesn't make me better than her in any aspect, it's just unfair.. and it hurts her feelings more than anything. 
If you want  girls to come in Jeans size 2 and T-shirt size M, then what the heck do you call , then we lose our difference and individuality. It makes us like Barbie dolls, all what matters is the outside plastic template with no soul or no personality, all what matters is the perfect blonde hair, pretty face and attractive body... that's all what matters..
There's no such thing as beauty standard, any girl can be pretty in her own way, don't have a pattern to follow that would tell you whether you are pretty or not.. Beauty is biased, so find the meaning of you own beauty.

Please ladies, the next person that calls you fat, overweighted even in a metaphoric way, say with the confidence you have: "I am Happy like this! Is that a problem?"

Saturday, 19 November 2011

Why Do People Fall in Love?

When I was a little girl, I used to tell my mommy that I don't want to get married, at all. She would laugh at me, and say when I grow up I'll understand..
 Then, when I was 13, my best friend just got her first boyfriend, before they were together, she would show me his texts to her and tell me she has some feelings for him. They were sweet and lovely, this is why I would always laugh my butt off. I always made fun of her love fantasies and romantic dreams, and told her this relationship would not last, because she wasn't allowed to date, and guess what, I WAS RIGHT! Her parents found out and made her cut all kinds of connections with that guy, since she went to girl-only school, it was not too hard to take away her phone and computer, and whenever she used the internet, a watchful parent would set with her.

Friday, 18 November 2011

When you love someone to the extremes,
                  and you're ready to give everything for their sake,
                               and you wish they appreciated the way you felt,
                                                        you'll be just understanding the way I feel... 

Happy Birthday Mommy

Happy Birthday Mommy!

Love you So MUCH :)

Thursday, 17 November 2011

At this moment

At this moment,there are 6,470,818,671 people in the world. Some are running scared. Some are coming home. Some tell lies to make it through the day. Others are just now facing the truth.
Some are evil men, at war with good. Some are good, struggling with evil. 6 billion people in the world, 6 billion souls. And sometimes all you need is one.
-Peyton Sawyer

It Will Rain

If you ever leave me baby,
Leave some morphine at my door
‘Cause it would take a whole lot of medication
To realize what we used to have,
We don’t have it anymore.

There’s no religion that could save me
No matter how long my knees are on the floor
So keep in mind all the sacrifices I’m makin’
Will keep you by my side
Will keep you from walkin’ out the door.

Cause there’ll be no sunlight
If I lose you, baby
There’ll be no clear skies
If I lose you, baby
Just like the clouds
My eyes will do the same, if you walk away
Everyday it will rain, rain, rain...

I’ll never be your mother’s favorite
Your daddy can’t even look me in the eye
Oooh if I was in their shoes, I’d be doing the same thing
Sayin there goes my little girl
Walkin’ with that troublesome guy

But they’re just afraid of something they can’t understand

Oooh well little darlin’ watch me change their minds
Yeah for you I’ll try I’ll try I’ll try I’ll try
I’ll pick up these broken pieces ’til I’m bleeding
If that’ll make you mine

Cause there’ll be no sunlight
If I lose you, baby
There’ll be no clear skies
If I lose you, baby
Just like the clouds
My eyes will do the same if you walk away
Everyday it will rain, rain, rain...

Don’t just say, goodbye
Don’t just say, goodbye
I’ll pick up these broken pieces ’til I’m bleeding
If that’ll make it right

Cause there’ll be no sunlight
If I lose you, baby
There’ll be no clear skies
If I lose you, baby
Just like the clouds
My eyes will do the same if you walk away
Everyday it will rain, rain, rain...

Wednesday, 16 November 2011


Here are a bunch if inspirational things you should look at,
Top 10 Thinking Traps Exposed — How to Foolproof Your Mind, Part I
The Key to All Success: Action
18 Powerful Tips for Overcoming Procrastination
7 Ways to Change Your Life in 7 Days


The recipe for a great Life is a spoonful of faith, a sprinkle of hope, and abundance of love
See things in colors, not every thing is blackn' white

friends are gifts we give ourselves

there's not limitation to your imagination

i like the feeling i have when things loosen up.. my chances become better.. i wish i feel this awesome every day.....

Tuesday, 15 November 2011

Now Reading

The Picture of Dorian Gray

I am not really into classics, but this book made more attracted to them!

I will forget you one day, but until then..

I will forget you one day, but until then..
let me dream of you,
let me hold on to the feelings,
that drove my heart to you,
let me fly and challenge gravity,
because you drove me out of my mind...
let me look at the moon,
and think..
of my deep passion,
of  my rotten luck,
and you.

Monday, 14 November 2011



WTH is wrong with u people? FWIK it's really stupid 2 talk lke ths..

U no, I've no idea wtf R U sain.

Isn't really irritating? No body speaks (or texts) proper English any more....

Sunday, 13 November 2011

Again, comes another shitty messed up day!

I don't really like the way my life is going, one awesome kicka** day, and 10 messed up days..

Friday, 11 November 2011

It's Finally 11/11/11

Yay!! It's finally 


It happens once in out lives, so please don't let it go.. without spending the best of it with ones you love..

Accept my Love,

Thursday, 10 November 2011

I've come to realize..

.... three things.

1- he's not worth my love or my time,
2- i cant have him,
3-i must move on, no matter how hard it will be...

Wednesday, 9 November 2011

Tuesday, 8 November 2011

I was a little bored, so....

78% Compatible
♥ Dal and him have never gotten together romantically, but perhaps some day they will. However, similar personality descriptions are a plus. The religious faith they share may help to form a bond. They both abstain from drinking, so that helps compatibility. The fact that him is a big sports fan could be divisive, in terms of how the couple spends their time. Their astrological signs are in harmony, though, which is a plus. And their views on children are similar. Overall, d and 2dd are quite compatible. There are a few rough spots, but nothing that cannot be overcome. ♥

Test Your Dating Compatibility

Monday, 7 November 2011

My life, in words

Wordle: Untitled
CLICK 2 Make it bigger


Okay, I know I have to study for my Spanish test tomorrow, and do my bio lab report, and finish my history essay(that I left to the last minute), but I decided that this was more important and let school go to hell!

I've already said before that I have feelings for love someone and I don't know how he feels about me... okay, I caught him staring at me 3 times today! and when he passed by in the hallway, we both looked away from each other, then looked again,then looked away, without even saying hi... gosh, I don't know, if he likes me or not, I mean he's surrounded with all his cool people and awesome group of friends, and I don't know what to do now?! 

My signature :)

Cute isn't it?

Saturday, 5 November 2011

A crush, I'm crushed, in a crash

Once upon a time, 
There was a girl,
who had a crush,
and then,
she waited,
and waited,
and waited,

Knowing Yourself

if you don't get the joke, then the math!

Ever hear of manipulating everything to get what you want?
Well, now you do, because you can do that to! Let the world go to hell, for you to get what you want. 
Tired of stereotypes?
  • If you don't take your chances, you'll never be a real person.
  •  You're always going to be a loser.
  • Get a life, man!
  • You're such a dork!
  • Here comes the wanna-b-cool and his tribe of losers..
  • Look, it's (you teasing/ mocking nickname here)..

Wow, people go through a lot. Bullied by others, teased for bring something they never chose to be, and totally weakened by their self esteem, if you are not one of them, this article would still help you. If you are one of them, then please keep reading.

Now, I wasn't badly bullied before, but I was still wanting help with boosting my self esteem, feed my hungry love for psychology, and I was depressed unhappy for period of of time and needed some help help. I found a handful of useful resources, on how to boost your self esteem, how to make friends, how to win other people.. etc

If you are tired of advises that you hear often,

Friday, 4 November 2011

Happy Birthday Hamaky :)
For that matter, this song was by Hamaky, a couple of years ago it came out, it's in arabic, but don't worry, I translated it for you:D

You Laugh?
By: Mohammad Hamaky

Last words, don't worry,
 I'll forget you immediately,
It's over what can I do for you?
There's nothing in you that will effect me anymore
Why did you.....

You're laughing? okay laugh..
Let's see who will forgive you,
when you regret what you did alot..
I forgive you? I forgive you?
I'd rather die and not forgive you..
Becuase you broke a kot of things in me.

You're laughing? okay laugh..
Let's see who will forgive you,
when you regret what you did alot..
I forgive you? I forgive you?
I'd rather die and not forgive you..
Becuase you broke a lot of things in me.

What are you ,don't you feel?
Your heart is not effected by any thing
My big misake was loving you
A mistake and one day it'll be corrected

You're laughing? okay laugh..
Let's see who will forgive you,
when you regret what you did alot..
I forgive you? I forgive you?
I'd rather die and not forgive you..
Becuase you broke a lot of things in me.

You're laughing? okay laugh..
Let's see who will forgive you,
when you regret what you did alot..
I forgive you? I forgive you?
I'd rather die and not forgive you..
Becuase you broke a lot of things in me.

Thursday, 3 November 2011


Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
She didn't want to wake up the sleeping pills.

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

God must love stupid people. He made SO many.
Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.
Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Now Reading

He's This, He's That!

I, myself, wish I could show him these posts one day. After I die maybe :P.. Things are complicated between us, I gave him a hard impression that I don't want anything to do with him.. well, I didn't mean too.. so, he is clueless, about the way I feel, but sometimes I think he isn't, I feel that he knows, and he is just giving it out in a nice way.
I hate it when a guy makes me feel insecure, like, wtf is wrong with these people.. insecure, insecure,insecure! I don't really know who the heck I should be blamin' all this mess on.. him or me? For making me love him and second guess myself like a lost puppy, or for being so nice sometimes, and so distant other times, until he made me feel like s***.. Anyways, I think it's going to end up being me, the girl with the big naive heart and no social skills that's gonna end up livin' alone with her 7 cats and a canary bird, lonely for the rest of her life.. SEE HIS EFFECT ON ME!
Sometimes I tell myself what the hell are you thinking of! He's not totally that cute, he's just a normal boy with s*** ton of friends and pulls out great grades a super-nerdy kid has to die for, there's nothing special about him, he's just awesome, intelligent, athletic, popular, but that's all.. It's not working when I think about the side effect.. This boy became the president of Honors Society with a speech containing 7 words, "I'll keep it short, everybody vote for me!" God, don't you think he has the charm??
Pfft, I'll keep rambling on and on and on about him, but truly, when I think of the bad flaws in him, I see those in myself too, we have a lot in common, but he's got no clue!!
He's this and he's that to me, but what am I to him?

Wednesday, 2 November 2011

I don't have to explain it..

You can't explain love, because there's no concept.Almost impossible to stop yourself, no matter how much you try,, you'll always end up with someone. I thought I was too smart for a heart break, but I ended up being stupid enough to stand now in suspense, not knowing whether to move on, or just keep of hoping of a marvelous sign of attention..
I wrote this, because it is my way of showing that I have a story to tell. I don't believe in stereotypes, I believe in (delicious yumminess of illusions), this is what I felt, after I fell!

Poem (or what I try to call it :D)

Don't think you're too smart not to fall in love traps,
You'd be surprised how quick the time will elapse,
Until you are hopelessly trying to find,
How in the world did you lose you mind,
And fell in love with an empty hand,
Blindly, contributing your best to understand,
The concept of love, the taste of a dream,
sweet like candy, or something like sour cream.

 Dal :)

Let's Get Racist

Okay, I am only insulting my race, so please shut up..

What do Arabs do on a Saturday night?

Sit under palm trees and eat their dates.

Tuesday, 1 November 2011


What's the story behind this one? I honestly don't remember.. But it still has something to do with Caramilk hehehhehehe LOVE CHOCOLATES :D