Thursday, November 3, 2011

He's This, He's That!

I, myself, wish I could show him these posts one day. After I die maybe :P.. Things are complicated between us, I gave him a hard impression that I don't want anything to do with him.. well, I didn't mean too.. so, he is clueless, about the way I feel, but sometimes I think he isn't, I feel that he knows, and he is just giving it out in a nice way.
I hate it when a guy makes me feel insecure, like, wtf is wrong with these people.. insecure, insecure,insecure! I don't really know who the heck I should be blamin' all this mess on.. him or me? For making me love him and second guess myself like a lost puppy, or for being so nice sometimes, and so distant other times, until he made me feel like s***.. Anyways, I think it's going to end up being me, the girl with the big naive heart and no social skills that's gonna end up livin' alone with her 7 cats and a canary bird, lonely for the rest of her life.. SEE HIS EFFECT ON ME!
Sometimes I tell myself what the hell are you thinking of! He's not totally that cute, he's just a normal boy with s*** ton of friends and pulls out great grades a super-nerdy kid has to die for, there's nothing special about him, he's just awesome, intelligent, athletic, popular, but that's all.. It's not working when I think about the side effect.. This boy became the president of Honors Society with a speech containing 7 words, "I'll keep it short, everybody vote for me!" God, don't you think he has the charm??
Pfft, I'll keep rambling on and on and on about him, but truly, when I think of the bad flaws in him, I see those in myself too, we have a lot in common, but he's got no clue!!
He's this and he's that to me, but what am I to him?

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