Tuesday, 29 November 2011


Okay, I might contradict myself at some point, but it is only because I have a bunmch of mixed feelings I want to get off my chest.

First, I saw C.M. with his GF today, they were walking that's all, or at least I am glad I didn't see more than that. Even the person talking to me noticed the tightness in my voice, but she didn't exactly know why my voice was tight, because she is clueless about the way I feel about him! His GF with dirty blonde hair and not that much of a face, well, I am not saying I am prettier than her.. I just think it is UNFAIR! 
I just hate him, he is making it harder for me, he doesn't know anything about the feelings I have for him, I just wish I was DEAD!

The second thing is, he sat with me on the bus, fudge, that is just what I needed.. I didn't say a word though, he didn't either, so we're both happy I guess..

I hate how the odds of us being together are much less than the odds of the sky falling. It is only a matter of time, until I just realized how this is going nowhere.

I need to get over him, ASAP, the sooner the better, sooner than later. Because I am tired of being in an emotional crisis, I am tried of living a chaotic life where I regret every word I said to him and think it was stupid.. I am tired, of everything that makes me think of him, of every night I close my eyes thinking about him, of every moment I see him with another girl and my heart aches like crazy..